By Marla Ruhana, LMSW
Q: My husband and I have three children. We work full-time and are struggling financially in these economic times. We really need time away together to reconnect. Do you have suggestions for us?
A: Your current situation is more common than you may think. Many couples find that certain types of marital therapy offer creative ways to enhance their marital bond.
In this fast-paced busy world, with the activities of children, work demands and maintaining our households, often what we neglect most is our spouse. Many spouses find themselves often traveling for work and seeing their partner only on weekends. Often, wishing to spend quality time with their spouse as well as their children, the marital relationship gets thrown to the back burner. Yet, what most fail to realize is that, as time goes on, the entire family unit will suffer if we are not tending to the emotional needs of our spouse. Resentment, tension, loneliness and anger builds and we may begin keeping score with our partner by focusing on the household tasks that are not being done. Is it really about the laundry not being folded properly? Typically, the undercurrent is really that our emotional needs are not being met. It is essential that couples make time for one another outside of their children.
Q: Are there options other than weekly marital therapy sessions?
A: Yes, there are many types of therapy that are valuable for couples. None of us can know everything about how to establish and maintain healthy relationships. Even with the best role models in our families of origin, there is always room to grow in our intimate relationships. Attending a Couple's Retreat is beneficial as an option to therapy for couples who feel they simply cannot make time in their schedule for ongoing weekly therapy sessions. Many couples like that retreats are close to home, especially if they have small children at home.
What a couple can obtain in a weekend retreat might take them months to obtain in weekly therapy sessions. Each retreat has a theme with experts facilitating workshops on specific topic. The intent of a retreat is to make the time together feel like a vacation with elements of fun and increased awareness for couples. Couples finish retreats with hope and tools to enhance their relationship.
Q: How can I get my husband to attend?
A: As a practitioner, I facilitate professional retreats for couples. Many men initially said they were hesitant to attend as they are alcohol-free weekends. I encouraged them to attend once and see how they feel. Their appreciation was unanimous. Last year, 14 couples attended and one Grosse Pointe man said, "For something I did not think would be good, I found it to be it a life changing experience". Many men also like the idea of a weekend away as opposed to months in therapy. Encourage him to view testimonials and photos of past couple's retreats on my website. The testimonials exhibit the benefits of these couple's weekends.
Marla Ruhana is a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist in private practice. She has both medical and clinical social work background, Marla was employed within the Henry Ford Health System, Bon Secours and Cottage Hospitals, and Psychiatric Services of Grosse Pointe prior to private practice. She works with individuals, couples and facilitates many groups.
She facilitates Couple's Retreats on the lovely shores of Lake Huron in Lakeport, Michigan. To learn more about an upcoming couple's retreat on July 10-12, 2009 visit www.marlaruhana.com or contact Marla Ruhana, LMSW for more information at 586-447-2162. Your relationship is worth it!
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