By Marla Ruhana, LMSW
Q. I am a 44 year old single mom, new to this area. I am finding it difficult to meet new friends and establish connections within the community. In the rush, rush of hectic busy days, I find it difficult to even connect with my kids' friends and their parents to develop new relationships. I have always been an extrovert and never imagined this would happen I would feel so isolated. Is this normal?
A. Social isolation is more common than you think. Living in a world consumed with technology, we all face the challenge of being more isolated. Many work from home with less chance of establishing and maintaining friends in the workplace. Most of us are rushing from one place to another and do not make much time for ourselves to simply visit with our neighbor. Most do not speak of this issue, but loneliness is apparent on many levels.
I work with many who recently return home after being away at college. They all say similar things, " I lost touch with friends in this area when I went away to school and now I'm finding it difficult to reconnect". I also hear: "my children are grown but my friends have little ones and we have lost touch as result of different activities in our lives", or: "all of my friends are married and I no longer receive invitations to events with them". Many across the life span are experiencing the same predicament.
Q. What can we do? Do you have suggestions to meet like-minded people?
A. We must be proactive and get creative in order to meet new people. I suggest taking golf lessons or joining a league, join a local boating/yacht club, gardening clubs, local women's organizations, play tennis, or another organized sport. Take cooking classes, attend functions within the community and Greater Detroit Area. Be visible. We won't make new friends at home. For those returning from college, the Detroit Social Club is always an option. Explore other clubs and functions on the internet.
Q. So many of these suggestions are helpful yet cost money. Are there other ways to meet people?
A. Yes, I recommend going to your local park, taking a walk, visiting local coffee shops and bookstores. Many opt to volunteer at the local hospitals and nursing homes. It is an opportunity to help others and meet new people at the same time.
Attend free events hosted by the community like Music on the Plaza for a free concert. I would shop estate and garage sales as they are fun, offer good finds and a relaxed atmosphere to connect with your neighbor.
Marla K. Ruhana, LMSW is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist.
For more information contact her at www.marlaruhana.com or 586-447-2162.
The Family Center, a 501(c) 3, non-profit organization, serves as the community's centralized hub for informational, resources and referral for families and professionals. To view more Ask The Experts articles, please visit our website www.familycenterweb.org.
Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org. To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.
Social Isolation in Our Adult Lives
