Ask The Experts by Anna Russo, NLP Trainer, Author, and Life Coach
Parenting can often seem so overwhelming; that we want to turn to experts for advice and just follow "good rules of parenting". Most parents want to have a deep connection with their children. Some succeed, some don't. What makes the difference? How would you like to find out?
Step into this scene: Family members showing love and cooperation to each other! All are listening, respecting, and responding to each other's requests! Everyone feeling content because they belong to our "special family". Sounds and feels wonderful, doesn't it?
What is stopping you from creating this family portrait? Perhaps you have been "trying" to solve kid problems as they occur by focusing on what you don't want and getting short-term relief instead of establishing an outcome.
Are you aware that every behavior is trying to fulfill a need? For example, ignoring homework leaves more time to play. Do you know what your child is trying to fulfill when he/she is misbehaving? Here are some tips to help you.
- First interrupt, limit or stop the unwanted behavior - as quickly and as calmly as possible.
- Find the positive intention of the unwanted behavior. Ask the question, "What is it that you are trying to do?" "What is it that you really want?"
- Agree with or acknowledge the child's positive intention. "It's important to protect your things and-"
- Help the child find other ways to achieve his positive intention. "How else could you accomplish that?" With young children, it can be useful to make suggestions for the child to consider. (For example, "After you clean your room, we don't have to discuss it anymore.")
The long-term effects of parenting positively are:
- The child thinks of themselves as having good intentions, in contrast to being "aggressive" or "bad". This adds to a positive self-esteem.
- The child eventually will come to think of other children in the same way - even when they do things that he/she does not like, they realize that there is a good intention.
- The child learns to automatically think of alternative solutions and use their creative resources whenever there is a problem to be solved.
Anna Russo is a Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) Trainer, Author and Life Coach. Russo has been successfully conducting workshops for parents and teachers for 19 years. NLP is the study of how the brain translates words into actions. It teaches us to detect the strategies that people use. Some strategies work, some do not. When one recognizes the strategies that they and others use, only then, are they able to change what doesn't work to ensure the desired outcome. For more information, Russo can be reached at 248-528-0753 or annaru@comcast.net or visit her website www.successstrategiesnlp.com.
Save the Date:
Eliminate Stress at Home and in Your Life
An Evening of Information & Inspiration featuring: Sadie Bolos, The Bolos Academy, Christina Pitts and Colleen Carnell, Pitts-Aldrich & Associates and Anna Russo, Success Strategies.
Thursday, Oct. 8, 7 to 9 p.m.
Barnes Early Childhood Center
20090 Morningside, Grosse Pointe Woods
No Fee. Register by Oct. 1 @ 313.432.3832
