Q: Is anxiety normal?
A: Experiencing anxiety is a normal part of being a healthy person. Anxiety is our mind telling our body to "pay attention!" Children experience productive anxiety before they take a test, compete or when they are faced with a difficult decision. Successfully working through these moments helps children increase resiliency and stamina.
Destructive anxiety is excessive worry over things we cannot change. This type of anxiety can hinder a child's socialization, academic success and daily activities.
What are signs of destructive anxiety?
- Physical complaints such as reoccurring headaches or stomachaches with no known medical cause.
- Anger or irritability: Children may be overly argumentative, or cry or yell excessively. This may be a warning sign, especially if this behavior is unusual for your child.
- Difficulty concentrating: Children may feel overwhelmed and have a tough time paying attention or staying organized.
- Sleep disruption: Anxiety often impacts sleep. Children may refuse to get up in the morning, or complain that they are too tired to go to school. They may also report difficulty falling or staying asleep.
- Isolating: Withdrawal from activities with friends or family.
- Dangerous behavior: Substance use is often a choice of children experiencing destructive anxiety. While alcohol and marijuana are common drugs of choice, children also abuse prescription or over-the counter medication. Children may also try self-harming behaviors like cutting or restrictive eating.
How can I help my child if they are experiencing destructive anxiety?
- Listen. Talk about their concerns, even if you believe they are minor. Let children know you understand. Don't minimize.
- Educate yourself and your child about anxiety. Help your child understand that many people experience anxiety from time-to-time, and there are ways to manage it.
- Rule out medical causes. Speak with your pediatrician to determine if a check-up is warranted.
- Encourage your child to use stress relievers; physical activity, music, art, and other relaxation techniques.
- Model good habits. Do you push yourself past your limit or have unrealistic expectations? Monitor your own stress level and use effective stress management strategies. Take time for fun. Remain calm when your child expresses worry.
- Speak with your child's counselor, school psychologist or social worker if you need additional suggestions or support.
- Persistent destructive anxiety can require professional intervention. Seek professional mental health support if anxiety persists or significantly interferes with daily activities.
Susan Fell is the school social worker at Brownell and Parcells Middle Schools. She received her Master's Degree in Social Work from Arizona State University and her School Social Work Certification from Wayne State. Susan attended Poupard, Parcells and graduated from Grosse Pointe North. She has worked in the Grosse Pointe School District for eleven years, and has facilitated parent education workshops, parent coffees and student educational groups. Susan was instrumental in the establishment of The Family Center of Grosse Pointe and Harper Woods and served on the Board of The Family Center for six years. She has also participated in the Grosse Pointe Youth Summit. Susan and JoEllen Cumpata, speech pathologist, have coauthored a social skills curriculum for children with Autism and other language and developmental delays.
Married for 29 years with two grown children, Susan understands the challenges and rewards of family life. She welcomes opportunities to brainstorm and problem-solve with parents and others interested in raising healthy, happy and productive. She can be reached at 313-432-3916 or susan.fell@gpschools.org.
SAVE THE DATE
"Parenting the Middle School Years: Guidance on Helping Students Make Successful Transitions"
Thurs. April 22, 2010 (7:00pm)
Presenters: Susan Fell, LMSW and Ted Kasper, MA, LMSW
Brownell Middle School Library, 260 Chalfonte, Grosse Pointe Farms
No Fee
RSVP by April 15 to help us plan seating@ 313.432.3832
The Family Center, a 501(c) 3, non-profit organization, serves as the community's centralized hub for information, resources and referral for families and professionals. To view more Ask The Experts articles, please visit our website www.familycenterweb.org.
Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org
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