New "Ask the Experts" Articles from FamilyCenterWeb.org

The Ill Effects of Smoking

Ask The Experts by Alfonso O'Neill, MD

Q: "I see other kids in my high school class smoking, and I have been to their homes, and I have seen their parents smoking, and they all look very healthy to me. How bad can cigarette smoking be?"

A: Although there are no obvious outward effects when you see your friends and their parents smoking cigarettes, you should pay closer attention to the subtle signs, which often include cough, either for short or long periods of time. The longer you smoke, the more short of breath you become. Some of the other early signs of smoking include: chronic sinus conditions, watery nose, runny eyes, and other allergic-like symptoms. You will also notice that the smokers have a very deep, almost hoarse voice. These are all irritant effects of cigarette smoke that might be seen in very early smokers. So, just because you do not hear that your friends and/or their parents have developed lung cancer or emphysema, these very subtle irritant effects of cigarette smoke can be seen if you pay closer attention.

Q: "I smoke socially and so I do not think that smoking is causing me any harm."

A: Usually, even if you are smoking socially, you are smoking in an area where there are other smokers. Smoke then begets more smoke, so not only do you get the ill effects of your own inhalation, but you are also inhaling the smoke of other smokers around you and you are inhaling unfiltered smoke, which after several hours of "enjoyment", can cause a tremendous amount of harm, not only immediately, but over the long term. So, if one were to smoke every weekend, once or twice a night, the days begin to add up very quickly, and so this type of exposure can certainly lead to chronic smoking-related diseases, such as chronic bronchitis and emphysema. There is good evidence that children that grow up in homes where there are smokers have a much higher incidence of asthma and chronic bronchitis later in life.

Q: "I can quit smoking anytime I want and that time is just not now, so why do I need to quit now?"

A: Nicotine has been well documented to be a more highly addictive substance than cocaine. Once you develop a nicotine addiction, it is extremely difficult to quit. Even with the best programs and best ancillary help, the 1-year smoking cessation rate is only about 1 out of 6 people. Once you become addicted to nicotine, it is extremely difficult to quit, so the best answer to that problem is just not to start smoking.

Q: Why can't I just wait for symptoms to begin and then stop smoking, and hope that everything will be alright?"

A: It can take years for the ill effects of cigarette smoke to finally cause symptoms. The problem with waiting is that once the symptoms begin, they are invariably irreversible. If you were to smoke long enough to develop emphysema, which is a destruction of lung tissue, there is no return; the lung will not regenerate. Once you have lost that lung function, it will not return. In fact, the inflammatory process will continue, and the lung function can continue to deteriorate at a rapid rate, such that even if you quit smoking cigarettes, your symptoms will worsen. Again, the best answer to that problem is to just never start smoking.

Q: "I have seen a lot of old people smoking cigarettes, and except for a little bit of cough and shortness of breath, they look fine to me."

A: It is true that not everyone that smokes, even for prolonged periods of time, develops cancer, emphysema, chronic bronchitis, or other illnesses. Unfortunately, there are so many American smokers, so that even when that small percentage develops disease, the cost to society is dramatic: in the billions of dollars per year. The other problem is that genetics play a large role in whether you develop these diseases or not. When you start smoking in your teens, you just don't know. There is no way to tell whether you have the genetics that will be "good" or "bad" regarding cigarette smoke. So again, the best solution is simply to just never start smoking cigarettes. That way you never have to face the dilemma of lung cancer, or other kinds of cancer such as bladder and bowel cancer, the ill effects of heart disease, and/or the ill effects of emphysema or chronic bronchitis - which are all related to cigarette smoking.

Alfonso O'Neill, MD is board certified in Pulmonary Medicine and board eligible in Critical Care Medicine. He has been in private practice for over 20 years and is the senior physician in the practice of O'Neill, Greenberger, Wu & Dunn, PLLC, with offices in St. Clair Shores, Huntington Woods and Troy. Dr. O'Neill may be reached at 586.774.0399.

The Family Center, a 501(c) 3, non-profit organization, serves as the community's centralized hub for informational, resources and referral for families and professionals.

To view more Ask The Experts articles, please visit our website www.familycenterweb.org.

Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org
To volunteer or contribute, visit www.familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.
20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

Anxiety in These Difficult Times

By Marla K. Ruhana, LMSW

Q. Lately, I’ve been feeling especially anxious for no good reason. I am grateful for my health, family, and current employment. Why is it I feel more anxious than I’ve ever felt in my life?


A. What you are feeling in these difficult economic times seems to be becoming the new norm. Sad but true, I’ve not seen this many struggle with generalized anxiety since 9/11. Quite honestly, at least here in the Greater Detroit Area, the anxiety appears to be worse than 9/11. I attribute this heightened sense of anxiety specific to this geographic area as a direct result of auto industry and job loss. Even if it is not directly impacting your family, I’m certain we all know someone who has lost their job, another whose spouse has relocated to another state to obtain employment and provide for their family.


Today, we are bombarded by the media, both local and national, and this negativity lurks in our unconscious. I recently drove back to Michigan from South Carolina and noticed the difference in billboards as I traveled north. It was quite a contrast, all upbeat, positive and in Michigan, from I 275 to I 94, every billboard aside from one for Cedar Point, McDonald’s, and MegaMillions, all were 1-800-bankruptcy, need help with your prescription costs?, and debt solutions. Whether we like it or not, we are all affected.

We see more evidence as teachers are being laid off due to school closings as many families relocate out of state. We can drive through the community and see the high number of homes for sale. We notice that our favorite restaurant is fairly empty when we dine out on weekends.

Yet we second guess ourselves as we cannot understand why we are feeling so anxious. These economic hardships have a detrimental impact on all of us. For many, fear often creeps into our unconscious as we wonder will we be next.

In addition to psychotherapy, exercise, healthy diet and sleep are all essential in maintaining balance and well-being. Yoga, meditation, journaling and surrounding yourself with optimistic, supportive relatives and friends will alleviate anxiety. Be proactive, view these difficult economic times as an opportunity to get back to basics, invite friends, family, or neighbors for a barbeque as opposed to dining out. View this crisis as a way to break free from isolation and establish a new sense of community and social network.


Q. So how does a person know when to seek out a mental health practitioner for their anxiety?

A.
If we are already prone to anxiety and depression, then our thoughts tend to be more negative and in this case the fear and projected negative outcome can often be far greater. It is imperative that we attempt to know ourselves and our own tendencies. Listen to your support system. Have they expressed concerns regarding changes in your mood state? If so, psychotherapy can be helpful to assist in becoming more self aware and offering cognitive techniques to help to change your thoughts. Therapy can also be beneficial if your support system is limited.


A professional can also be helpful if you have lost your job to assist in reinventing yourself. It is extremely helpful as it is an objective outside viewpoint from those who know you well and may have their own biases regarding your ideas for a new career path.

Q. What if I need more help? Is medication and option for anxiety?

A. Medication is not the answer for everyone. Medication however can be extremely beneficial for those suffering from anxiety disorders. As psychotherapists cannot prescribe medication, I recommend contacting your primary care physician or seeking out psychiatric care. Ask your physician about medication for anxiety as some have an addictive quality.


Marla Ruhana, LMSW is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist in private practice. For more information contact her at 586-447-2162 or visit www.marlaruhana.com.

The Family Center, a 501(c) 3, non-profit organization, serves as the community’s centralized hub for informational, resources and referral for families and professionals.
To view more Ask The Experts articles, please visit our website www.familycenterweb.org.
Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org
To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.
20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

Social Isolation in Our Adult Lives

By Marla Ruhana, LMSW

Q. I am a 44 year old single mom, new to this area. I am finding it difficult to meet new friends and establish connections within the community. In the rush, rush of hectic busy days, I find it difficult to even connect with my kids' friends and their parents to develop new relationships. I have always been an extrovert and never imagined this would happen I would feel so isolated. Is this normal?


A. Social isolation is more common than you think. Living in a world consumed with technology, we all face the challenge of being more isolated. Many work from home with less chance of establishing and maintaining friends in the workplace. Most of us are rushing from one place to another and do not make much time for ourselves to simply visit with our neighbor. Most do not speak of this issue, but loneliness is apparent on many levels.

I work with many who recently return home after being away at college. They all say similar things, " I lost touch with friends in this area when I went away to school and now I'm finding it difficult to reconnect". I also hear:
"my children are grown but my friends have little ones and we have lost touch as result of different activities in our lives", or: "all of my friends are married and I no longer receive invitations to events with them". Many across the life span are experiencing the same predicament.

Q. What can we do? Do you have suggestions to meet like-minded people?

A. We must be proactive and get creative in order to meet new people. I suggest taking golf lessons or joining a league, join a local boating/yacht club, gardening clubs, local women's organizations, play tennis, or another organized sport. Take cooking classes, attend functions within the community and Greater Detroit Area. Be visible. We won't make new friends at home. For those returning from college, the Detroit Social Club is always an option. Explore other clubs and functions on the internet.

Q. So many of these suggestions are helpful yet cost money. Are there other ways to meet people?

A. Yes, I recommend going to your local park, taking a walk, visiting local coffee shops and bookstores. Many opt to volunteer at the local hospitals and nursing homes. It is an opportunity to help others and meet new people at the same time.

Attend free events hosted by the community like Music on the Plaza for a free concert. I would shop estate and garage sales as they are fun, offer good finds and a relaxed atmosphere to connect with your neighbor.


Marla K. Ruhana, LMSW is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist.
For more information contact her at www.marlaruhana.com or 586-447-2162.

The Family Center, a 501(c) 3, non-profit organization, serves as the community's centralized hub for informational, resources and referral for families and professionals. To view more Ask The Experts articles, please visit our website www.familycenterweb.org.

Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org. To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.

Motivating Teens for Summer Jobs

By David M. Benson, MSW, LMSW, ACSW

Q: Now that school is over, how can I motivate my teenager to seek employment, instead of sitting around the house playing video games?

A: This is a question I hear often from the parents of my adolescent clients. First, teens need to identify short and long-term goals, then tie their goals to methods of accomplishing them - like getting a summer job. It is beneficial for the parent(s) to sit with the teenager while he/she writes their list of goals and interests. If your teen has specific, clear and realistic goals, he/she will have a sense of control and purpose for employment. This process of defining may assist your teenager to identify not only areas of interest, but also items the teen may want to purchase for themselves. Teenagers all think about driving and wanting a car, planning for trips or buying special clothes that are not always in the family budget. By earning their own money, a job teaches them responsibility and helps to make their goals more realistic and attainable.

The parental role in this process is one of a "coach" and motivator. If your coaching is effective, the teenager will make more independent, responsible decisions. As parents, it is often easier for us to simply repeat to our teens, "you need to get a job." However, if a parent is able to be the coach or motivator, the results are almost always more favorable. The key to this process is to allow the teen to feel some control and motivation to want to be employed.

Be aware that the thought of employment often scares teenagers. Some do not know their talents, or believe enough in themselves to be employed. Being employed for the first time is a very anxious moment for teenagers. This is one of the main reasons why teenagers will not seek employment. The parent can assist by helping the teen identify their strengths and weaknesses, as well as making suggestions for employment opportunities that promote success for your teen.

The following list includes the most popular employment opportunities for teens:

  • Food Services
  • Retail Stores
  • Yard Maintenance
  • Tutoring
  • Car Washing
  • Parks and Recreation Departments
  • Pet Services
  • Babysitting/Care Giving
  • Library
It is very important for the parent (coach) to praise and acknowledge their teen's efforts in seeking employment. Your teen may not find the "perfect" job at first, but accepting setbacks and seeking an alternative job will help them to readjust priorities and learn how to compromise.

David M. Benson, MSW, LMSW, ACSW is a licensed clinical therapist with over 15 years of experience and has been in private practice for 5 years in Grosse Pointe Farms. He works part-time at Henry Ford Cottage Hospital's Psychiatric Unit and is a member of The Family Center's Association of Professionals. Contact him at EastShore Counseling Services (313) 447-5779, email Info@DavidBensonTherapy.com or visit www.DavidBensonTherapy.com for more details.

The Family Center, a 501(c) 3, non-profit organization, serves as the community's centralized hub for informational, resources and referral for families and professionals.
To view past AskThe Experts articles, please visit our website www.familycenterweb.org.

Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org
To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.
20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

Have a Safe Summer: How to Avoid Recreational Water Illness

By Glen Clark, MD, chief, Emergency Services, Beaumont Hospital, Grosse Pointe

Q: I overhead someone talking about recreational water illnesses. I've never heard this term used before. What is it and what should I know about it?

A: The term recreational water illness (RWIs) refers to the transmission of germs spread by swallowing, breathing or having contact with contaminated water. RWIs can be present in pools, spas, lakes, rivers and oceans. RWIs can cause a wide variety of symptoms, including gastrointestinal, skin, ear, respiratory, eye, neurologic and wound infections.

Feces is the most common culprit in the spread of RWIs. Children who are not potty trained should wear approved swim diapers at all times. Individuals with diarrhea should refrain from swimming until symptoms are non-existent.

Before jumping into your favorite swimming hole, consider the condition of the water and the surroundings. In addition to asking the attendant about pool policies and cleaning schedules, there are a few things you can do. The sides of the pool should not be sticky or slippery.

The water should be clear and free from odor. If there is a strong chemical smell, it indicates there are maintenance deficiencies. A well-chlorinated pool has no order. Chlorine and pH levels should be checked twice a day. Ask what the health inspector's grade was for the pool at the last inspection.

Natural bodies of water can be contaminated by animal waste, sewage spills and runoff from rainfalls. Pay special attention to posted "no swimming" signs.

To help protect against RWIs, practice healthy swimming behaviors. Do not swim if you have diarrhea; shower with soap before and after swimming; wash your hands after using the bathroom while swimming; and most importantly, do not swallow any pool water or get pool water in your mouth.

If you have a backyard swimming pool, check chlorine and pH levels of the water often. Allow only approved swim diapers and do not allow the family pet in the pool.

Swimming is an all-time favorite summer pastime. Keep it safe by being a smart swimmer.

For more information contact: Glen Clark, MD, chief, Emergency Services, Beaumont Hospital, Grosse Pointe at 313-417-6940.

The Family Center, a 501(c) 3, non-profit organization, serves as the community's centralized hub for informational, resources and referral for families and professionals.
To view past Ask The Experts articles, please visit our website www.familycenterweb.org.

Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org
To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.
20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

Seeking Professional Help for Anxiety or Depression

By David M. Benson, LMSW, ACSW of EastShore Counseling Services

Q: I'm a mom of two teenagers, married for 20 years, who is challenged by daily adolescent issues, marital issues, work pressures, aging parents... My friends, family, colleagues tell me I should seek professional help, that maybe I need medication for my anxiety and depressive symptoms? I'm a private person, uncomfortable sharing deep personal feelings. I don't want to be "analyzed." How can I benefit from seeing a "shrink?" What's the difference between a therapist, counselor, psychiatrist or psychologist?

A: First, let me start by explaining the differences in professionals. I will answer your question, "How can I benefit from seeing a "shrink" next. A Psychiatrist is a doctor who can prescribe medication for Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder and any psychiatric diagnosis. A Psychiatrist provides the medical components to a patient/client's treatment. Psychiatrists are required to attend medical school as part of their education and certification. Most Psychiatrists have their own specialties, such as those who specialize in children, adolescents and adults. Further, Psychiatrists may concentrate on specific mental illnesses or concentration of practice. Psychiatrists predominately treat the medical symptoms and prescribe medication. It is infrequent that a Psychiatrist will provide therapeutic services, such as counseling.

Research has proven to treat mental illnesses, such as Depression, Anxiety, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and others, the preferred method of treatment is medicine, along with cognitive behavioral therapy (counseling). This combined approach has proven to be the most successful treatment modality. As mentioned above, Psychiatrists do not provide the cognitive therapy, or counseling. These types of services would be provided by a Counselor, Clinical Social Worker, or Psychologist.

It seems that some people confuse the term "counselor" with "therapist." These terms are often used interchangeably, which at times can be confusing. From a credential perspective, a counselor is a person who holds a Master's of Arts degree in Guidance and Counseling and is licensed professionally as a counselor. A therapist is a Clinical Social Worker who holds a Master's of Social Work degree and may also be licensed professionally through the State of Michigan as a social worker. Clinical Social Workers may hold additional credentials through the National Association of Social Workers.

A Psychologist is similar to a Clinical Social Worker in practice, as well as the licensing process. Psychologists at times refer to themselves as therapists. Sometimes people confuse Psychologists with Psychiatrists. A Psychologist cannot prescribe medication and does not hold a medical degree like a Psychiatrist. Licensed psychologists have earned a Doctoral Degree (Ph.D. or Psy.D). If you are seeking the services of a psychologist, please be sure to look at their credentials, such as the Ph.D. or Psy.D after their name. Some practitioners who have a Master of Science degree, or Master of Arts degree in the field of counseling, consider themselves as psychologists; they, however, have not received their Doctoral Degree.

According to local practitioners, Dr. Marquita Bedway and Dr. Kara Brooklier, practitioners of clinical psychology generally provide psychological assessment and psychotherapy. In addition to earning a doctoral degree, clinical psychologists complete advanced training following their degree, including a one year internship and one to two years of post-doctoral fellowship in a specialty area.

There are many more disciplines in the field of psychology, psychiatry and clinical social work. However, the purpose of this article is to provide the public with a basic description of each practice, as well as a simple comparison between psychiatrist, psychologist, and clinical social worker.

In summary, a Psychiatrist prescribes medication and attended medical school. Psychologists and Clinical Social Workers are similar in that they both provide counseling/psychotherapy, however have experienced different training and education. What is most important is that a person seeks a professional that they are comfortable with, and one who specializes in their area of concern.

When searching for a Counselor, Therapist or Psychologist, it is important to ask questions to make sure you are comfortable with the person. The effectiveness of your treatment may depend on choosing the right therapist. Most professionals will offer a free consultation or screening on the phone. For a listing of local professionals, please refer to The Family Center's Association of Professionals on their Website: www.familycenterweb.org.

There are many benefits in seeking professional help. Your question revealed many stressors that most of us have in common. For many, it is initially very uncomfortable to enter a "stranger's" office and start revealing all of your personal information. This is one of the main reasons why it is so important to locate a Therapist that you are comfortable with. Therapists do not analyze their clients; they assist them in recognizing areas in their lives that they feel need improvement. Therapists also provide the therapeutic tools necessary to make change. A good therapist will complete this process in a non-judgmental manner.

As referenced in your question, the only "analyzing" would be if you were receiving a psychiatric evaluation by a Psychiatrist. Research has proven that the best way to treat anxiety and depressive symptoms, are through medication and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (talking therapy). Receiving therapy can really help one to sort through their lives and recognize why we do certain things, why we think the way we do and often provides answers to our behavior and actions.

Therapy is also beneficial to deal with incidents in life, such as; trauma, abuse, neglect and unresolved issues from childhood and adolescence. How we grew up, along with our family's beliefs, traditions and environment all impact how we respond to certain stressors, behaviors and actions. Additionally, therapy also helps most people deal with current stressors, relationship problems, coping skills and how to manage daily challenges.

Historically, therapy was viewed as "taboo" with a lot of stigma attached to this concept. I often hear from my clients, "I thought I could work this out on my own, and my family doesn't believe in therapy. We all need to help ourselves." This myth has certainly changed over the past couple decades. As our environment and world change around us, so do the financial, social and economic stressors we face on a daily basis. Families experience increased challenges and stress that simply was not as prevalent a couple decades ago. There is no shame in seeking professional help to better our lives, happiness, relationships and our families. After all, for most of us, this is the meaning of life.

David M. Benson, MSW, LMSW, ACSW is a licensed clinical therapist with over 15 years of experience and has been in private practice for 5 years in Grosse Pointe Farms. He works part-time at Henry Ford Cottage Hospital's Psychiatric Unit and is a member of The Family Center's Association of Professionals. Contact him at EastShore Counseling Services (313) 447-5779, email Info@DavidBensonTherapy.com or visit www.DavidBensonTherapy.com for more details.

For a listing of local professionals, please refer to The Family Center's Association of Professionals online directory at www.familycenterweb.org. To become a member of the Association of Professionals, please contact us at 313.432.3832.

The Family Center 20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236
Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org
The Family Center is a 501c 3 non-profit community organization that depends on donations.
To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.

Creating an Extraordinary Relationship

By Marla Ruhana, LMSW

Q: My husband and I have three children. We work full-time and are struggling financially in these economic times. We really need time away together to reconnect. Do you have suggestions for us?

A: Your current situation is more common than you may think. Many couples find that certain types of marital therapy offer creative ways to enhance their marital bond.

In this fast-paced busy world, with the activities of children, work demands and maintaining our households, often what we neglect most is our spouse. Many spouses find themselves often traveling for work and seeing their partner only on weekends. Often, wishing to spend quality time with their spouse as well as their children, the marital relationship gets thrown to the back burner. Yet, what most fail to realize is that, as time goes on, the entire family unit will suffer if we are not tending to the emotional needs of our spouse. Resentment, tension, loneliness and anger builds and we may begin keeping score with our partner by focusing on the household tasks that are not being done. Is it really about the laundry not being folded properly? Typically, the undercurrent is really that our emotional needs are not being met. It is essential that couples make time for one another outside of their children.

Q: Are there options other than weekly marital therapy sessions?

A: Yes, there are many types of therapy that are valuable for couples. None of us can know everything about how to establish and maintain healthy relationships. Even with the best role models in our families of origin, there is always room to grow in our intimate relationships. Attending a Couple's Retreat is beneficial as an option to therapy for couples who feel they simply cannot make time in their schedule for ongoing weekly therapy sessions. Many couples like that retreats are close to home, especially if they have small children at home.

What a couple can obtain in a weekend retreat might take them months to obtain in weekly therapy sessions. Each retreat has a theme with experts facilitating workshops on specific topic. The intent of a retreat is to make the time together feel like a vacation with elements of fun and increased awareness for couples. Couples finish retreats with hope and tools to enhance their relationship.

Q: How can I get my husband to attend?

A: As a practitioner, I facilitate professional retreats for couples. Many men initially said they were hesitant to attend as they are alcohol-free weekends. I encouraged them to attend once and see how they feel. Their appreciation was unanimous. Last year, 14 couples attended and one Grosse Pointe man said, "For something I did not think would be good, I found it to be it a life changing experience". Many men also like the idea of a weekend away as opposed to months in therapy. Encourage him to view testimonials and photos of past couple's retreats on my website. The testimonials exhibit the benefits of these couple's weekends.


Marla Ruhana is a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist in private practice. She has both medical and clinical social work background, Marla was employed within the Henry Ford Health System, Bon Secours and Cottage Hospitals, and Psychiatric Services of Grosse Pointe prior to private practice. She works with individuals, couples and facilitates many groups.


She facilitates Couple's Retreats on the lovely shores of Lake Huron in Lakeport, Michigan. To learn more about an upcoming couple's retreat on July 10-12, 2009 visit www.marlaruhana.com or contact Marla Ruhana, LMSW for more information at 586-447-2162. Your relationship is worth it!

The Family Center
20090 Morningside Drive
Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236
Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org
The Family Center is a 501c3 non-profit community organization that depends on donations.
To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.