The Family Center of Grosse Pointe & Harper Woods: 2009

Making a Successful Transition Into Kindergarten

ASK THE EXPERTS: Donna Tavalieri, PT and Gina Schmakel, OTR/L

As pediatric physical and occupational therapists we are often asked "What types of activities are best to prepare my child for kindergarten?" We believe that by building a good foundation of gross and fine motor skills, children will be better prepared for the expectations of kindergarten and beyond.

Good gross motor skills provide strength, balance and coordination in the body, arms and legs that is needed to support fine motor control e.g. sitting at a desk to color or write.

Ideas to promote gross motor development:
Painting or coloring with chalk on a large easel, drawing/coloring with sidewalk chalk on cement and/or using soap crayons in the bathtub (these activities use more whole arm movement)

Digging in the dirt or sand
Jumping, galloping, skipping
climbing, hanging, swinging, etc. on playground equipment

Fine motor coordination skills continue to become more refined as children progress through kindergarten.

Ideas to promote fine motor development:
1. Hand/finger strengthening activities

Molding and cutting Play Dough to make different imaginative things
Building with resistive type blocks e.g. Legos
Squeezing a squirt bottle to erase the chalk drawings from the sidewalk or easel
Playing with resistive type toys e.g. Velcro toy fruits and vegetables, legos
Crumple paper and throw into trash (use trash can as a target for more fun!)

2. Two handed activities

Stringing beads of different sizes big to smaller on pipe cleaners or shoe laces
Hold piece of paper with one hand and use other hand to snip with child scissors.
Pull apart toys e.g. Legos
Ripping paper to be put in the trash

3. Grasp skills

Coloring with small pieces of chalk or crayons (break them down from their original size)
Picking up small food items such as Cheerios, raisins, M&M's etc. with pointer finger and thumb
Pushing small objects into Play Dough and then dig them out
Lite Brite

Most importantly explore, be creative and have fun with your child's development!

Donna Tavalieri, PT is a licensed pediatric physical therapist and co-founder of Pediatric Potentials LLC in St Clair Shores. She is a graduate of Wayne State University.

Gina Schmakel OTR/L is a licensed pediatric occupational therapist and co-founder of Pediatric Potentials LLC in St Clair Shores. She is a graduate of Eastern Michigan University.

SAVE THE DATE:
Making a Successful Transition into Kindergarten
A special follow up to The Family Center's past fall "Kindergarten: Get Ready!!" presentation.
Tuesday, Feb. 2, 7pm
Barnes Early Childhood Center
20090 Morningside Dr., Grosse Pointe Woods
$5/person
RSVP by Jan. 26 @ 313.432.3832 or info@familycenterweb.org

The Family Center, a 501(c) 3, non-profit organization, serves as the community's centralized hub for information, resources and referral for families and professionals.
To view more Ask The Experts articles, please visit our website www.familycenterweb.org.

Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org
To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.
20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

Essential Pre-Kindergarten Skills

ASK THE EXPERTS: Beth Moran, Early Childhood Teacher

Q. Does My Child Need to Know Letters and Numbers Before Kindergarten?

A. It is vital in the preschool years to provide your child with experiences to help him/her gain skills and build a foundation for school. But, does my child really need to identify colors, shapes, letters and numbers before entering kindergarten? The answer is YES!

Kindergarten is no longer just play time. It is now like first grade used to be and our children need to be prepared. It is often a difficult task because the kids want to have play time and as parents, we want to be sure our children are prepared for Kindergarten. Expectations include first grade skills. There are now state guidelines on what a child needs to know as a kindergarten student.

The big question is, "How can I teach my child the academic skills and still make it fun?" Parents will often say that every time they get out the flash cards, their child runs or cries because they don't want to do them. There are so many ways to teach academics and make it fun. Join us for an evening of hands on activities that are enjoyable and cover the basics needed before Kindergarten.

At what age should my child be able to perform certain skills?

For 2- to 3-year-olds
1. Names colors
2. Uses words to request
3. Points to 3 basic shapes (circle, triangle, square)
4. Repeats a simple sentence (I want a cracker.)
5. Names pictures in a book
6. Listens to a short story
7. Knows parents names
8. Knows first and last name
9. Compares sizes (big and little)

For 3- to 4-year-olds
1. Names colors
2. Names 4 basic shapes
3. Counts by rote
4. Learns and repeats songs and finger-plays
5. Identifies animals and the sounds they make
6. Matches, compares familiar objects as to color, form, and size (put all the red blocks in the red container)
7. Hears likenesses and differences in sounds
8. Describes pictures and tells actions
9. Knows age

For 4- to 5-year-olds
1. Names colors
2. Names 4 basic shapes
3. Shows interest in learning letters and numbers
4. Recognizes upper case letters
5. Recognizes lower case letters
6. Recognizes the numerals 1-10
7. Counts by rote
8. Identifies the various sounds the letters represent
9. Counts the correct number of items in a row
10. Matches a numeral with that number of items
11. Hears likenesses and differences in sounds
12. Sees likenesses and differences in pictures
13. Speaks clearly
14. Copies specific printed shapes or designs
15. Knows address
16. Knows telephone number
17. Prints first name without copying
18. Uses imagination and creativity in play
19. Problem solves

Beth Moran is an ECP teacher at Barnes Early Childhood Center and can be reached at 313-432-3803. She has a Bachelors Degree in Elementary Education from Wayne State University. She received a Masters Degree + 40 credits, in Special Education, from Wayne State University, as well as her ZA endorsement. She taught Kindergarten, 1st and 3rd grades in Highland Park before having a family. She spent 22 years at the Grosse Pointe Pre-Kindergarten (10 as a director), before joining the Grosse Pointe School System in 1998. Beth's passion for teaching continues to bring joy to her life everyday.

SAVE THE DATE:
Making a Successful Transition into Kindergarten
A special follow up to The Family Center's past fall "Kindergarten: Get Ready!!" presentation.
Tuesday, Feb. 2, 7pm
Barnes Early Childhood Center
20090 Morningside Dr., Grosse Pointe Woods
$5/person
RSVP by Jan. 26 @ 313.432.3832 or info@familycenterweb.org

The Family Center, a 501(c) 3, non-profit organization, serves as the community's centralized hub for information, resources and referral for families and professionals.
To view more Ask The Experts articles, please visit our website www.familycenterweb.org.

Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org
To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.
20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

Mothers & Daughters: Face-Time vs. Facebook - Learning to Communicate Off-Screen

ASK THE EXPERTS: Sean Hogan-Downey, LMSW, LMFT

Q: "I have a daughter who is always busy, how can I get her attention?"

A: "I'm not yelling at you - I'm just talking" - sound familiar? One of the most complex, challenging, confusing, rewarding and meaningful relationships in life can be found between mothers and their daughters.

In this digital age, face-time has become very limited. Mothers on their cell phones, daughters on their PDA find it difficult to make time for one another. Connection is a lifeline for daughters. Mothers are often the closest human connection to them trying to figure out how to become an adult.

To raise a confident young woman, she needs values from those who love her:

Acceptance/ learning: Make amends and let go of the past.
Approval: In spite of all the insecurities, imperfections, fears and failures.
Affection: Gentle/ tender that comes an important huggable moment.
Authority: Giving up control to accept guidance, love and support from parents.
Accountability: Following and accepting logical consequences of actions to develop strength and character

Connected mothering requires being truly present and focusing; listening without judgments, which includes managing body language that is disapproving or judgmental; asking questions and validating feelings which does not mean that there is agreement, only that she is truly heard.

Remember you are not your daughters "BFF". Mothers need to be a model to help daughters make positive choices in friends, care/protection of her body and helping her regulate emotions.

Your daughter wants to take control of her future by experimenting with new feelings, attitudes and behaviors which is normal and healthy development. However, if Mom steps in with a parenting style that feels like "smothering" or "helicopter parenting", rebellion is worsened. "Backbone parenting" helps tune into your daughter's changes and to react appropriately. Navigating between girl world and parent planet is a daunting task. Daughters need mothers who set limits with appropriate consequences and are consistent with them.

SEAN HOGAN-DOWNEY, LMSW, LMFT is a Licensed Master Social Worker and Licensed Marriage and Family therapist. She has been in clinical practice for over 30 years. For over 10 years, she has had the pleasure of working at Grosse Pointe Academy as staff consultant and school counselor. Sean is a member of the Youth Program Planning Committee of The Family Center. Contact number: (586) 774-7779.

SAVE THE DATE
Face-Time vs. Facebook: Learning to Communicate Off-Screen A Conversation for Mothers & Daughters
Tues. Feb. 10, 09 (6:30-8:30pm):
Presenter: Sean Hogan Downey, MSW
Grosse Pointe Academy Fieldhouse (171 Lake Shore Road, Grosse Pointe Farms)
No Fee, Refreshments & Dessert will be served
RSVP by Feb 1 @ 313.432.3832

Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org
To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.
20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

A 4-Step Plan to Develop Self-Control in Young Children

ASK THE EXPERT: Ted Kasper, MSW

Q: My 7 year old son constantly speaks without thinking about who is around him or where he is. He constantly interrupts others when they are busy and does not know when to be quiet or leave someone else alone. I am constantly telling him when he should be quiet and leave others alone but he does not seem to learn. Any ideas on what I can do to help him?

A: Whatever the reason for your son's annoying behavior, it is our job as parents to raise our child's awareness, provide limits/boundaries and teach self-control. Think of the boundary as a fence. This fence is held up by four fence-posts (one at each corner). These fence-posts are:

1: Raising the awareness level: I have found the best way to raise a child's awareness of their annoying behavior is to "Observe and Run". The parent gently reminds the child that their behavior is annoying and moves on with their business, not waiting for a comment by the child. Some examples are: "That was the silliness I've been talking about", "You might want to think about the noise that your making w/ your mouth", "Do you see what effect your constant tapping has on your sister?" Crucial to Observe & Run: the parent does not belabor the point (or nag). Just one sentence suffices.

2: Teach in proactive ways: Model self-control in similar situations. Discuss your responses when you are both calm and relaxed. Less is more (less verbal is generally more effective) in this situation. Talking about his annoying behaviors also raises your son's awareness level but seeing you model the desired behavior is often more effective. Kids need to know what doing the right thing looks like.

3: Praise Along The Way: It is the wise parent whose response to their child's annoying behavior doesn't only inform the child what is wrong, but also tells them what is right. The parent also will not wait until the child "gets it right": praise small steps towards the appropriate behavior.

4: Develop Tolerance: This fence-post is meant for us parents. Tolerance is the distance a behavior must go (eg, number of times it happens or how bad it gets) before we respond/intervene. I'm not saying to turn a blind eye to what is happening but to remember our role as a teacher and coach to our children.

Ted Kasper is a licensed social worker in Macomb County who is employed by Macomb County Community Mental Health as Training Coordinator. In his private practice, he provides counseling to children, adolescents, adults and families. He specializes in Behavior Analysis & Interventions; Parent Coaching, Mentoring and Support and "SuperNanny Services" (behavioral observation, action planning, and interventions).

Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org
To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.
20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

Kindergarten Readiness - Social and Emotional Development

ASK THE EXPERT: By Lori Warner, PhD

Q: I'm not sure if my son should go to kindergarten this year. He has a late birthday and we have only done one year of preschool. How can I tell if I should wait or not?

A: Deciding whether or not to send a "young-fiver" to kindergarten is always an individual decision, and depends on many factors. One consideration most parents easily recognize is academic readiness, but social and emotional readiness is equally as important. Particularly for children who have had no preschool experience, adjusting to a structured school schedule with multiple transitions can be challenging. This is especially true for full-day kindergarten programs. Even for children with preschool experience, the behavioral expectations and routine in kindergarten will likely differ from what they've experienced in the past. Your local school district can help you assess your child's readiness in all aspects of development and assist you in making the right decision for your family.

Q: What are some of the key social and emotional skills needed in kindergarten?

A: Every kindergarten class is different, but all represent the child's first foray into elementary school, and this is a true milestone! Kindergarten is a time when children increasingly learn that they are part of a larger community. They learn more about the world around them and how their family, home, school, and familiar places like the park, library, and grocery store fit into larger organizations and institutions. Kindergarteners begin learning how to better identify and express their feelings, and develop stronger empathy and understanding of others. Socializing with new classmates, learning to share and play cooperatively, and learning to assert oneself while understanding the importance of rules and authority are all key skills. Children also broaden their interests and spark their creativity and excitement of discovery during this timeframe.

Q: What can I expect my child to learn in terms of social and emotional growth during kindergarten?

A: Here are some helpful benchmarks from the Colorado State Library:
(www.coloradostatelibrary.org)

Most kindergarteners can:
follow a classroom routine
play cooperatively with others
label and express feelings and emotions
try new activities willingly
stand up for themselves but know that bullying and violence are wrong
wait fairly patiently for a turn or to speak
take care of personal needs such as toileting, hand-washing, and clothing
pay attention to a story or activity for 10 minutes

The HOPE Center houses Beaumont's autism treatment programs and is part of the Center for Human Development. At the HOPE Center families receive intensive behavioral therapy for preschoolers with autism in two center-based programs. We also offer behavioral consultation services for children of all ages with a variety of referral questions from autism and other developmental disabilities to behavior management, OCD, toileting, and feeding problems.

Dr. Lori Warner is a Licensed Psychologist and Director of the HOPE Center, Center for Human Development at William Beaumont Hospital in Berkley. She can be reached at (248) 691-4774.
Visit their Web site @ www.beaumonthospitals.com/hope.

SAVE THE DATE:
Making a Successful Transition into Kindergarten
A special follow up to The Family Center's past fall "Kindergarten: Get Ready!!" presentation.
Tuesday, Feb. 2, 7pm
Barnes Early Childhood Center
20090 Morningside Dr., Grosse Pointe Woods
$5/person
RSVP by Jan. 26 @ 313.432.3832 or info@familycenterweb.org

Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org
To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.
20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

Low Energy Neurofeedback (LENS)

Ask The Experts by Leigh Ann Van Dyke, M.S. LLPC

Q: Can Neurofeedback be used as an alternative to medication for adults, teenagers and children?
A: YES!!

Q: What is Low Energy Neurofeedback?
A: The LENS, or Low Energy Neurofeedback System helps to “rebalance” a person’s whole way of thinking, feeling and wellbeing. Neurofeedback is a noninvasive procedure that monitors and analyzes the brain’s electrical activity, also known as the electroencephalogram or EEG, and then uses this information to formulate the feedback, which is delivered through the same sensors used to monitor brainwaves. Although the feedback signal is low in energy, it produces measurable changes in brain activity. The EEG signals that are recorded through the sensors influence the feedback stimulation, which may normalize the brain’s electrical activity.

Q: What are the benefits of Lens?
A:

Increased clarity (decreased mental “fog”)
Decreased feelings of irritability
Decreased feelings of anger
Decreased feelings of fatigue
Decreased feelings of anxiety
Decreased feelings of depression
Improved sleep at night
More energy during the day
Improved concentration and attention
Improved memory
Improved vision and speech (due to cortical problems)
Increased sense of ease due to the absence of the need to control intense feelings

Q: What has the LENS shown clinically positive results in?
A:

Traumatic physical head or spinal cord injury symptoms from mild to severe
Stroke
Clinical depression
Anxiety disorders
Trauma from childhood, work and stress (PTSD)
Attention deficit disorders with and without hyperactivity
Learning disabilities
Sleep disorders
Autism/childhood schizophrenia (Asperger’s Syndrome)
Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Excessive anger and explosiveness
Substance abuse
Bipolar disorder
Headaches

Q: How does the Lens produce these positive results?
A: The above-mentioned problems exist concurrently with EEG slowing, which consists of high amplitude, high variability, low frequency brainwave activity. Reductions of excessive slow brainwaves will often be noted within the first few minutes of the first session. Generally speaking, regardless of the diagnosis, if a condition is accompanied by brainwave imbalances, LENS can potentially be helpful in alleviating its symptoms.

Q: How long does it take to see results?
A: Clinical improvements may be noted within 3 to 5 sessions in simple cases, but in more complex cases more courses of treatment may be required before improvements begin to become noticeable.

Low Energy Neurofeedback is now available in the Grosse Pointe Area. For more information you can contact Leigh Ann Van Dyke M.S. LLPC at (586) 469-6955, by e-mail at neurowellnesscenter@gmail.com, or neurowellnesscenter.vpweb.com.

The Family Center, a 501(c) 3, non-profit organization, serves as the community’s centralized hub for information, resources and referral for families and professionals.
To view more Ask The Experts articles, please visit our website www.familycenterweb.org.

Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org
To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.
20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

The Flu - What You Need to Know

ASK THE EXPERTS: Robert Takla, MD

Q: How can I protect my family from the flu?

A: There are two flu viruses this year, the traditional seasonal flu and novel H1N1 (swine) flu.

Seasonal Flu: Each year, the CDC estimates 200,000 hospitalizations and 36,000 deaths from the regular flu. Those at greatest risk include young children, or people with serious medical conditions. The deaths from flu are usually in those over 65 with serious medical conditions, or pregnant women.

Novel H1N1 (Swine Flu): It was first believed that this influenza virus was transmitted from pigs to humans, but we know how it contains genetic material from pigs, humans and birds. Properly cooked pork even from an infected animal poses no risk of flu. Those at greatest risk include young children, pregnant women, and those with serious chronic medical conditions. However unlike seasonal flu - young adults are actually more at risk.

Both viruses have similar symptoms: fever, chills, headache, body aches, coughing, stuffy or runny nose, sore throat, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. And both are spread through coughing, sneezing or close contact.

Prevention

The CDC makes recommendations as to who should get these two separate vaccinations. To learn more, ask your doctor or visit www.cdc.gov.
Wash your hands often and thoroughly with soap and water. Alcohol based hand sanitizers are also effective.
Avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth.
Stay away from sick individuals if possible.

Treatment

Get rest, drink fluids, and treat symptoms with Tylenol, Motrin, or an over-the-counter flu medication.
Cover your nose and mouth when sneezing or coughing.
If you are relatively healthy and only have mild flu symptoms, please stay home for 24 hours after the fever is gone. Most individuals will not require medical treatment.
If you are pregnant or have a chronic disease, notify your physician immediately.
Seek prompt medical attention at an emergency room if have difficulty breathing, shortness of breath, chest pain, have persistent vomiting and/or diarrhea and are becoming dehydrated.

Dr. Robert Takla is Chair and Medical Director of Emergency Medicine at St. John Health & Medical Center. Call Health Connect at 866-501-DOCS to find a family doctor in your area for a vaccination.

The Family Center, a 501(c) 3, non-profit organization, serves as the community's centralized hub for information, resources and referral for families and professionals.
To view more Ask The Experts articles, please visit our website www.familycenterweb.org.
Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org
To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.
20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

Wash your hands!

Ask the Experts: Gael K. Rodgers, R.N., B.S.N., infection control practitioner, at Beaumont Hospital, Grosse Pointe.

You've heard it again and again, from your mom, your doctor and medical experts in the media. It's the cheapest and best way to stop the spread of germs responsible for colds, flu and a whole medical dictionary of other illnesses.

But has anyone every taught you how to wash your hands? A cursory swipe with soap, quick rinse and towel dry aren't enough. The soaping process alone should take at least 15 seconds - about the time it takes to sing the happy birthday song or your A-B-Cs, says Gael K. Rodgers, B.S.N., infection control practitioner at Beaumont Hospital in Grosse Pointe.

Here's a step-by-step guide and a photos to explain how to do it right.

Wet your hands, soap them up thoroughly and rub vigorously throughout the process. No need to use antibacterial soap. The purpose of soap is to make the germs slippery so they'll rinse off, not to kill them.
Interlace your fingers "steeple-style" and rub up and down. Make sure you create friction from the fingertips down to the creases between fingers.
Take your palm and rub it in circles on the top of your opposite hand, making sure your hand travels up to the wrist. Repeat with the opposite palm.
Scrub your nails against your opposite palm. Repeat with nails on opposite hand. Use a brush or nail file if you have visible dirt under your fingernails.
Rinse thoroughly holding your hands in a downward direction. Turn off the faucet using a towel to avoid re-contaminating your now-clean hands. Use the towel to open the bathroom door if you're using a public restroom, then toss it in the trash.

Gael K. Rodgers, B.S.N., is an infection control practitioner at Beaumont Hospital in Grosse Pointe. She can be reached at 313.343.1514.

The Family Center, a 501(c) 3, non-profit organization, serves as the community's centralized hub for information, resources and referral for families and professionals.
To view more Ask The Experts articles, please visit our website www.familycenterweb.org.

Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org
To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.
20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

Tips for Tips for Building Gross and Fine Motor Skills in Children

ASK THE EXPERTS: Donna Tavalieri, PT and Gina Schmakel, OTR/L

As pediatric physical and occupational therapists we are often asked "What types of activities are best to prepare my child for kindergarten?" We believe that by building a good foundation of gross and fine motor skills, children will be better prepared for the expectations of kindergarten and beyond.

Good gross motor skills provide strength, balance and coordination in the body, arms and legs that is needed to support fine motor control e.g. sitting at a desk to color or write.

Ideas to promote gross motor development:

1. Painting or coloring with chalk on a large easel, drawing/coloring with sidewalk chalk on cement and/or using soap crayons in the bathtub (these activities use more whole arm movement)
2. Digging in the dirt or sand
3. Jumping, galloping, skipping
4. climbing, hanging, swinging, etc. on playground equipment

Fine motor coordination skills continue to become more refined as children progress through kindergarten.

Ideas to promote fine motor development:

1. Hand/finger strengthening activities

Molding and cutting Play Dough to make different imaginative things
Building with resistive type blocks e.g. Legos
Squeezing a squirt bottle to erase the chalk drawings from the sidewalk or easel
Playing with resistive type toys e.g. Velcro toy fruits and vegetables, legos
Crumple paper and throw into trash (use trash can as a target for more fun!)

2. Two handed activities

Stringing beads of different sizes big to smaller on pipe cleaners or shoe laces
Hold piece of paper with one hand and use other hand to snip with child scissors.
Pull apart toys e.g. Legos
Ripping paper to be put in the trash

3. Grasp skills

Coloring with small pieces of chalk or crayons (break them down from their original size)
Picking up small food items such as Cheerios, raisins, M&M's etc. with pointer finger and thumb
Pushing small objects into Play Dough and then dig them out
Lite Brite

Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org
To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.
20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

Must Have Items for Every Parent's Medicine Cabinet

by Marcus DeGraw, MD

Many parents know the frustration of having a sick or injured child and not knowing what treatment to give to alleviate the child's symptoms. Adding to their frustration is a frightening array of choices filling the shelves at any drugstore or grocery store.

According to Marcus DeGraw, MD, a board certified pediatrician at the St. John Children's Center, each family should have a well-stocked first-aid supply that doesn't include unnecessary supplies. He suggests the following supplies and medications to have on hand:

Q. What medications should I have on hand?
A. You should always have the following readily available in your medicine cabinet:

Pain relievers - acetaminophen (Tylenol) and ibuprofen (Motrin or Advil). Ibuprofen should only be used if child is more than six months old.
Skin creams including one percent hydrocortisone for itchy rashes and antibiotic ointments for cuts and scrapes.
Rehydration fluids for illnesses with vomiting or diarrhea (Pedialyte).
Extra prescription medicines (especially if your child has a chronic disease like asthma).
Cold medicines - most children need only a decongestant and a cough suppressant.
Benadryl - use for allergic reactions or nasal allergies, but only for children one year and older, unless directed by a doctor.
Teething gel for infants - use in small amounts.

Q. What about supplies like gauze or plastic gloves? Do I need to have those?
A. I recommend having sterile gauze, medical tape and bandages of all sizes on hand for common cuts and scrapes. You should also have alcohol wipes, hydrogen peroxide and basic soap for basic cleaning of cuts and wounds -- as well as Plastic gloves for attending to wounds with blood.
Other items that come in handy include:

Thermometer for fevers (preferably one that can be used orally and is digital).
Sharp scissors to cut dressings for wounds.
Tweezers to remove slivers or foreign objects from skin.
Instant cold packs for bumps and bruises and sprained ankles.
Emergency contact numbers and the number for poison control (800) 222-1222.
Physician's phone number and directions to nearest emergency room.

If you are vacationing within the state or country this summer, you may also want to pack a first aid bag with these supplies and medications to have on hand.

Q. Are there any common medications that I should avoid giving my children?
A. First is Laxatives - not to be used in children unless directed by a physician. Likewise, anti-diarrhea medicines - ask a doctor first. Lastly, syrup of Ipecac - once universally recommended for accidental poisonings, now avoid and call Poison Control instead.

Dr. DeGraw is one of the pediatricians at St. John Children's Center and medical director of Pediatric Subspecialty Services at St. John Hospital and Medical Center. More information is available at www.stjohn.org/StJohnHospital/Specialties/Pediatrics/. Call Health Connect at 866-501-DOCS to find a family doctor in your area.

In addition to general pediatrics, the St. John Children's Center has specialists in the areas of infectious disease, endocrinology, cardiology, pediatric surgery, gastroenterology, neurology, nephrology, behavioral medicine, and pediatric hematology/oncology.

Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org
To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.
20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

Maximizing Your Child's Language Development

By Lisa Domas

The best way to prepare your child for school is to provide him with as many language experiences as possible. A child's ultimate resource for learning to read and write is his spoken language (Marie M. Clay, developer of Reading Recovery). There are many activities that parents can do to develop their child's language skills. For example:

Talk and listen to your child. Have a conversation about his day. He should be doing most of the talking.
Talk about everything you experience with your child in detail. Talk about where you are and what you see when you go to the grocery store, church, restaurants, museums, and family vacations. (Do not forget to talk about what you see and places you are passing whenever you are driving in the car.) Have your child retell the events of the day.
Encourage your child to talk to adults. Have him order food at restaurants, greet people who he comes in contact with at home and while visiting others, and acknowledge people appropriately when he is out in public.
Expect your child to speak in complete sentences. Do not accept one-word answers.
Be specific when you speak and expect the same from your child. Do not talk in non-specific terms. Avoid words like stuff, thing, things, that one, one place, over there. Do not let your child speak in non-specific terms either.
Play language games. Play category games, describing games, and/or board games.
Read to your child every day. Show enthusiasm for books. Discuss the pictures, plot, and meaning of the books. Relate the books to personal experiences. Ask questions and have your child ask you questions about the books.
Limit "screen time." Research shows that there is a relationship between increased amounts of "screen time" (time spent on the computer, watching TV, and playing video games) and lower academic achievement scores.
Give your child a variety of hands-on experiences that encourage imagination. Have your child play in the sand/dirt, build with old boxes, cook, explore, and play make-believe.
Establish a consistent home routine. Be consistent with family dinners, family prayer, reading time, and bedtime.

The above activities will help build the necessary neural connections for the preschool years. These connections are vital for the foundation of a confident and academically successful child.

Lisa Domas is a speech-language pathologist at Barnes Early Childhood Center and can be reached at 313.432.5537. She graduated with a Master's degree in speech-language pathology in 2006 from Wayne State University and has held a Certificate of Clinical Competence from the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association since 2007. Currently, Lisa assesses and plans therapy programs for the 24- to 36-month-old toddlers in need of speech and language intervention in Grosse Pointe. She also works with parents, empowering them to be their child's number one therapist. Three afternoons a week, she works in a classroom with preschoolers who have varying degrees of language needs. Her passion is giving very young children with delays in speech and language development the best possible start for their elementary school years.

SAVE THE DATE:
Making a Successful Transition into Kindergarten
A special follow up to The Family Center's past fall "Kindergarten: Get Ready!!" presentation.
Tuesday, Feb. 2, 7pm
Barnes Early Childhood Center
20090 Morningside Dr., Grosse Pointe Woods
$5/person
RSVP by Jan. 26 @ 313.432.3832 or info@familycenterweb.org

Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org
To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.
20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

$urviving the Holiday$

by Health Alliance Plan (HAP)

Q: "Our family budget is really tight this year. Do you have any suggestions for stretching the family budget to get through the holiday season?"

A: Don't ruin the promise of a new year by overspending this holiday season. The holidays bring people together and create an opportunity to slow down and enjoy time with loved ones. You can still create meaningful family-centered holiday memories without spending a bundle. Here are some great tips for you to consider.

Greeting Card$

If you're creative, consider recycling holiday cards, refine your mailing list, try e-mail greetings and photos - or forego cards altogether.

Holiday Partie$

Reduce the stress of entertaining by planning a potluck dinner. For each guest, assign a type of dish, such as a side dish, appetizer, main dish, and specify how many people the dish should serve.
Invite just your closest friends over for a holiday get-together; try a simple wine and cheese theme, everyone brings a bottle to sample.
Don't feel obligated to attend every party. Be selective.
Borrow or limit your decorations; look for coupons and discounts.
Help your children create a holiday play, puppet show or concert and perform for a holiday gathering.
Take a group of friends and family caroling at a senior center.
During Kwanzaa, many families visit nursing homes and senior centers to honor elders. Consider bringing little gifts, like cards, bookmarks or socks with Kwanzaa-colored trim.

Gift$

Prepare gift boxes for the homeless - food, treats and toiletries. This can be done with a few families, a havurah from your synagogue or church group.
Trim your gift list and exchange an ornament or other small gift.
Create fruit baskets or freezable homemade soups as holiday gifts.
For clutter-free giving, choose a favorite charity to which friends and family members make or donate gifts.
Decide how much you want to spend and then stick with it. If lavish holiday store displays tempt you to spend more, shop online.

A Time for Familie$

Create family heirlooms - such as a cookbook - by scanning elders' recipes in their own handwriting. Produce a legacy video of your loved ones, with pictures, video and their personal life story.
After the first big snowfall, take the family sledding. Have a pot of warm soup ready for when you get home.
Record interviews with parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. Have them relate your family's history, and make copies for everyone on your family gift list.

Plan Ahead for 2010

In January start a holiday savings account so you will have holiday funds.
Create a master calendar and include Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah or Christmas. Create goals and a budget for each season.

For healthy recipes that won't break the bank or your waistline, visit the Health Alliance Plan Web site, http://www.hap.org/worksite/newsrecipes.php. HAP also offers links to sites with more healthy recipes: http://www.hap.org/healthy_living/womens/healthy_recipe_sites.php. This "Ask the Expert" column is courtesy of Health Alliance Plan, www.hap.org, in partnership with The Family Center.

The Family Center, a 501(c) 3, non-profit organization, serves as the community's centralized hub for information, resources and referral for families and professionals.
To view more Ask The Experts articles, please visit our website www.familycenterweb.org.

Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org
To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.
20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

Try Play Central

by Carla Whitton, Play Central Coordinator

Q: It's already fall and the weather makes it hard to get my little ones outside. Do you have any advice on how to survive the fall and winter with them?

A: Young children certainly have limitless amounts of energy. Many parents begin to feel cooped up when the weather gets cooler.

There are lots of great indoor options for poor-weather playtime. Most parents have tried out McDonald's playland, Pump It Up, and Eastland's play area.

Why not try something new? One great local choice many people don't know about is Play Central. Play Central is a drop-in open play group run by The Family Center, a local non-profit organization.

The program begins each year in November, when it's too cold most days for playgrounds. On Tuesdays, we meet in the upstairs gym at The Neighborhood Club. On Wednesdays, we meet in the gym at Barnes Early Childhood Center.

Both groups run from 9:00 am to 11:00 am. It costs just $3 each visit for the whole family. The format is open, so you can let your child's interests direct you. You will both enjoy having a large selection of toys that are new to you. It's a great opportunity for young children to run around and practice their large motor skills, and, of course, run off, or crawl off, some of that energy!

Your child may even make a great new friend. Children will practice their social skills, and you can chat with other adults. All caregivers are welcome; we have moms, dads, grandparents, and nannies. Some participants come once a month, some come every Play Central session, and some even invite all their friends or mom's group to meet there.

And new, this year, on Wednesdays, we are offering Play Central Plus! When you come to Barnes, you will have the option to join a structured Play Group lead by Barnes Preschool Teachers. They will offer circle time and various activities based on that week's theme.

This is a wonderful opportunity for your child to get a taste of preschool while maintaining the comfort of their caregiver's support. If your child isn't in the mood for structure that day, just come on down the hall back to the gym.

Play Central is a fun, flexible, and affordable program designed for young children and their caregivers. Be sure and check it out with your little ones this winter!

Play Central 2009-2010 Schedule*
Tuesdays 9am-11am, The Neighborhood Club gym
located at 17150 Waterloo, Grosse Pointe.

Wednesdays 9am-11am, Barnes Early Childhood Center gym
located at 20090 Morningside Dr., Grosse Pointe Woods.

Play Central will meet each Tuesday and Wednesday from
November 3rd, 2009 through April 28th, 2010 with the following exceptions…
No Play Central
November 25th (Barnes building closed)
December 23rd (Barnes building closed)
December 29th (The Neighborhood Club building closed)
December 30th (Barnes building closed)
February 17th (Barnes building closed)
April 7th (Barnes building closed)
*Play Central will not meet any Wednesday that GPPS declare a "Snow Day".

Carla Whitton is a certified elementary school teacher with an endorsement in early childhood education.

Montessori Education

by Jennifer J. Kendall, Ed.M, Early and Lower School Principal, The Grosse Pointe Academy

Q: I am starting to research pre-school options for my child and came across the Montessori programs. What are the benefits of this type of education?

A: Montessori programs offer children an individualized program in a full classroom setting. The materials are introduced to all of the children by their teacher and the children then self direct themselves to choose work that is of interest to them. Maria Montessori felt that "we should not fill children with facts but rather cultivate their own natural desire to learn." The classrooms have a Practical Life area, where children develop fine motor skills through a care for their environment, Sensorial area, where children learn color, size, texture, and weight through their work, and academic materials in language arts, math, science, and social studies.

Q: What are the differences between a play-based pre-school and Montessori pre-school?

A: Children in Montessori classrooms are introduced to different materials throughout their Montessori years. Each of the materials presented by the teacher has a purpose. As an example, while both play-based and Montessori classrooms have blocks, a Montessori classroom has the Pink Tower of ten varying shaped blocks. The tower is a Montessori material that is used to help develop coordination, set a basis for the number system and increase awareness of dimension.

Q: What are the benefits to having my child in a multi-age classroom?

A: Maria Montessori believed that younger children would benefit from the community formed with the older children. The multi-age classroom allows younger children to learn from the older students and model their behaviors and allows the older students a chance to reinforce their own knowledge by helping the younger students.

Q: How do I know if my child is ready for school?

A: All children develop and reach milestones at different times. Signs that your child is ready for school include an interest in being independent, a desire to play with other children, and following directions. Around 2 1/2 - 3 many children exhibit these characteristics and are ready for school. Touring a pre-school with your child is highly recommended as it will give you a chance to see your child in the school environment and hear more about the school's program and philosophy.

SAVE the DATE:
Jennifer J. Kendall will present additional information on Montessori education at The Grosse Pointe Academy on Wednesday, November 11, at 7:00 p.m. in the Early School Building on the GPA campus. The session is free and open to the public. For more information, call 313-886-1221 x145.

The Family Center, a 501(c) 3, non-profit organization, serves as the community's centralized hub for information, resources and referral for families and professionals.

To view more Ask The Experts articles, please visit our website www.familycenterweb.org.

Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org
To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.
20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

Get Ready for Kindergarten

by Deb Kraft, Dorothy Heitjan and Linda Whitman

It is vital in the preschool years to provide your child with the experiences that will build the foundation for later success in school. One must keep in mind the amazing developmental changes that occur in a child's body and brain during the preschool years. In order to help your child build these neural connections, parents should provide:

A variety of hands on experiences-dig in the dirt, cook, build
Unstructured time to move and use the body-play on the playground, jump, swing, run
Use toys that encourage imagination or thinking - plain blocks, old clothes for dressing up
Limit screen time-TV, computer, hand held devices
Establish a good home routine - healthy meals and snacks, set bedtimes

Kindergarten is your child's first experience in a formal education setting. Kindergarten bridges working one on one with parents and working together with peers in small and large groups. Excellent kindergarten programs address the social and emotional as well as the academic needs of your child. They provide opportunities for your child to play and learn in structured and unstructured situations. Kindergarten provides hands-on experiences to enable your child to connect what they already know to their new learning.

However, Kindergarten has changed drastically in the last ten years. Expectations include many former first grade skills. Michigan Kindergarten State Guidelines and Expectations (GLCE's) now include reading and writing. Sight words as well as emergent spelling skills are included. Knowing what a word and even what a sentence looks like in a story as well as reading and writing their own words and thoughts are expectations. These skills are at the emergent or beginning level. There are also new GLCE's for math, social studies and science. Our students will recognize characteristics and patterns, know numerals to 100, count by twos and fives to thirty, and express story equations with drawings and numbers.

Enroll your child at your school district's administrative offices. You will need to provide a birth certificate, immunization records and physical examination forms (in September), and proof of residency. You should enroll your child as early as possible. By enrolling your child, you are placed on the public school mailing list and will receive important information by mail. When enrolling your child, you may have to choose between programs. Current Kindergarten programs include the traditional half-day program as well as all-day programs (ADK) or extended day programs (EDK).

Until then, enjoy talking, playing, riding, cooking, building, and exploring with your child every day!

Save The Date:
'Kindergarten: Get Ready!' presented by The Family Center
Thursday, November 19
7:00-8:30pm
Barnes Early Childhood Center
20090 Morningside Dr., Grosse Pointe Woods.
Grosse Pointe Public School System presenters: Deb Kraft, Kindergarten Teacher and Dorothy Heitjan, Early Childhood Program Teacher and Speech Pathologist and Linda Whitman, Teacher Assistant.
Fee $5 per family
Register Early! The Family Center at 313.432.3832 or info@familycenterweb.org

The Family Center, a 501(c) 3, non-profit organization, serves as the community's centralized hub for information, resources and referral for families and professionals.

To view more Ask The Experts articles, please visit our website www.familycenterweb.org.
Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org
To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.
20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

Parenting the New College Student

ASK THE EXPERT: David Votruba, PhD

Q.I recently dropped my son off at college for his freshman year and am concerned about how best to stay in-touch with him. How can I remain involved without being an intrusive "helicopter parent"?

A. Many college students and parents struggle with how to navigate the relational changes and challenges generated by the transition to college. Unfortunately, these challenges often provoke extreme reactions that can be harmful to both college student development and parent-student relationships.

On one extreme are "helicopter parents" whose over-involvement, intrusiveness and controlling behaviors prevent their students from experiencing both real challenge and real success. On another extreme are parents whose laissez-faire attitudes represent a reactive retreat from the parenting role that amounts to a form of abandonment during a time when parents are still needed to perform essential functions.

What most college students need are parents who recognize the need for a gradual transformation of their relationship from parent / adolescent-child to parent / adult-child and who are willing to talk about what this means for their relationship, both behaviorally and emotionally.

While this may sound difficult, parents can increase their chances of success by being mindful of this transformation and starting the necessary conversations and negotiations early; i.e. when the transition to college is close enough to be interesting to the adolescent but far enough away as to not feel overwhelming.

If your adolescent has already left for college, you can still begin these conversations. While in-person conversations are best, conversations via Skype or phone might suffice, so long as all parties feel they are able to communicate a range of subtle thoughts and feelings. Text-based mediums, such as email and instant messaging, are not recommended for such important conversations.

The first conversation parents should have with their students is one about the need to have further conversations concerning the college transition and associated transformations in their relationship. During this conversation, parents should explicitly discuss the purpose of these conversations and establish the goal of remaining supportive and emotionally involved with their students without impeding their developmentally-appropriate needs for privacy, challenge, mastery, and growth.

Parents and students should then discuss their expectations for the frequency and quality of communication once the student departs for college. Included in these discussions should be the need for periodic check-ins concerning the established goal.

Parents and college students should be prepared to discuss whether their involvement is helping or hindering the progressive development of the student and the parent / adult-child relationship.

While such conversations are challenging, most parents and students should find success with a little practice; and, once in place, these conversations should preserve and transform the relationship by securing a continued positive attachment and mitigating other difficult conversations down the line.

David Votruba PhD PLC is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist in private practice in Ann Arbor, MI. A graduate of Grosse Pointe South High School, Dr. Votruba also works for the University of Michigan Division of Student Affairs. He may be reached by phone at 734-929-3700, by email at votruba@gmail.com, or by visiting his website: http://votruba.googlepages.com

Save the Date:
Demystifying the College Process: An Interactive Panel Discussion
A conversation for parents and students (10th, 11th and 12th grade) featuring an interactive panel discussion about real issues facing young adults.

Tuesday, Nov. 3, 6:30pm
Grosse Pointe South High School Auditorium
11 Grosse Pointe Blvd, Grosse Pointe Farms

No Fee

RSVP by Oct. 27 @ 313.432.3832 or info@familycenterweb.org

The Family Center, a 501(c) 3, non-profit organization, serves as the community's centralized hub for information, resources and referral for families and professionals.

To view more Ask The Experts articles, please visit our website www.familycenterweb.org.

Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org

To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.

20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

The Role of the High School Guidance Counselor in College Selection

ASK THE EXPERT: Milissa M. Pierce, MA, LPC

Q: As a student, what should I expect from my High School guidance counselor in the college selection process?

A: A high school guidance counselor should be your "center of gravity" in the college selection process. Their job is to guide a student through their high school journey, helping them to stay on track and keeping their eye on the prize.

Regardless of how we may wish it was otherwise, college awareness and opportunity should begin early in a student's high school career. Curriculum, grade point and involvement begins to matter even in the 9th grade!

Yet ample opportunities exist for ALL students and counselors can help students identify them and explore them. High School counselors work with students at all grade levels to help them become responsible decision makers and to further develop their educational talents and interests.

Students should be advised to take a varied and strong curriculum which will help them explore their interests and enhance their opportunities for a successful transition to college. Counselors should also provide information about testing and testing preparation through the high school years.

During the junior and senior years, the partnership with the counselor should develop into a working relationship to help a student solidify their choices, stay on task for all necessary deadlines, and keep a student focused on finishing strong!

Parents can expect their High School Counselors to:

Help a student choose the best curriculum for them through their high school career
Provide opportunities for students to explore their talents and interests
Advise them on ACT/SAT testing and preparation
Provide information and awareness of college exploration at school and in the community
Guide a student through the processing of applications in their senior year
Provide encouragement, enthusiasm and wisdom in helping a student move forward through the process

Milissa M. Pierce, MA LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor and High School Guidance Counselor. She is beginning her 8th year at Grosse Pointe North High School and previously worked at Oxford Middle School. Milissa teaches Counselor Education classes at Oakland University and ran a successful Private Practice in the Grosse Pointe Area for over 15 years. She has previously worked in a clinical setting providing contractual services and group counseling to schools in Oakland County. She has also worked as family life educator on the Eastside teaching childbirth classes and providing postpartum support.

Save the Date:
Demystifying the College Process: An Interactive Panel Discussion
A conversation for parents and students (10th, 11th and 12th grade) featuring an interactive panel discussion about real issues facing young adults.

Tuesday, Nov. 3, 6:30pm
Grosse Pointe South High School Auditorium
11 Grosse Pointe Blvd, Grosse Pointe Farms
No Fee

RSVP by Oct. 27 @ 313.432.3832 or info@familycenterweb.org

Writing Great College Application Essays

Ask The Expert: Carla Palffy, M.Ed, LPC

Q: I am a senior working on both college and scholarship applications. How do I know if I have written a good college essay?

A: When reviewing college applications, admissions officers are in search of students who will not only succeed academically on campus, but those who will be actively engaged in the campus community. The college essay is what brings your application to life.

While often the most daunting part of the application process, the essay is actually your greatest asset because YOU are the expert! The college application provides a great deal of information about how other people see you, but your college essay is your one opportunity to express how you see yourself.

So the obvious question is, "How do I know if I have written a good essay?" Simply stated, there is no magic formula and there is no "one size fits all" rubric to follow when writing your essay.

The most important key to a compelling essay is to personalize your story with your own voice, showing the reader in great detail the essence of your individual experience as no one else could have written. Remember, when it comes to your college essay, "Ask the Expert" really means "Ask Yourself".

Show, don't tell. You hear this cliche frequently, but what does it really mean? Showing means sharing your world through remarkable detail, appealing to all five senses. Bring your story to life with vivid and specific facts.
Precision is power. Personal essays should speak from the heart with tightly focused details that shed light upon the author. Abstract ideas merely state a general, often generic, concept.
Answer the question. If the essay question has more than one section, be sure your responses directly answer each question. It is important to grab the reader in the introduction and stay on topic.
Do the research. The essay is a chance to show you have done the background research and can articulate why the college is a good match for you, even more specifically how you will engage in the campus community.
Keep it positively real. Keep it honest, personal and focus on positive outcomes. You do not have to be extraordinary; you do have to be authentic. Passion brings the ordinary to life.
Pursue perfection. Good essays take time, drafts and redrafts. It is important to take the essay process seriously and allow enough time to be sure your grammar is correct and your voice is heard.

Carla Palffy, M.Ed, LPC is a licensed MI guidance counselor, founder of College Prep Rx consulting, providing professional guidance for students and families preparing for college admissions. For more information visit www.collegepreprx.com or email: carla@collegepreprx.com.

Save the Date:
Demystifying the College Process: An Interactive Panel Discussion
A conversation for parents and students (10th, 11th and 12th grade) featuring an interactive panel discussion about real issues facing young adults.

Tuesday, Nov. 3, 6:30pm
Grosse Pointe South High School Auditorium
11 Grosse Pointe Blvd, Grosse Pointe Farms
No Fee

RSVP by Oct. 27 @ 313.432.3832 or info@familycenterweb.org

The Family Center, a 501(c) 3, non-profit organization, serves as the community's centralized hub for information, resources and referral for families and professionals.

To view more Ask The Experts articles, please visit our website www.familycenterweb.org.

Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org

To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.

20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

How to make the Shift in Life

Ask The Experts by Sadie Bolos O'Neill, The Bolos Academy

Q: I'm a married mother of three, work full-time and find it so hard to keep balance in my life. I feel so overwhelmed and stressed all the time. I'm looking for ways to relax and enjoy my life more, can you help?

A: Stress is a part of our lives everyday. Are you operating under functional or dysfunctional stress? We all experience functional levels of stress. Planning a wedding, attending a high school reunion, taking an exam, interviewing for a job are all examples of functional stress. When we begin to experience physical and emotional set backs, such as health issues, depression, ongoing anger and behavioral outbursts, that indicates dysfunctional stress that falls below the level of balance on the continuum scale of functional stress.

So how do we stabilize the level of stress, holding it at a functional level? How do we channel stress into as a positive motivator and use it to facilitate positive, change?

Step 1: We Make the Shift

The shift begins in our thinking. The shift begins by first reframing the stressful situation as an opportunity. Review the situation at hand and accurately and honestly identify what is really going on. Most often Stress is escalated by change. Most of us do not embrace change. We resist and deny change. The Shift means we look at challenges along with change as an opportunity to grow.

STEP 2: Let it Go

Continuing to resolve the situation along that same path is not working. Most likely it is causing more stress and little satisfaction in your life. It's time to let it go and find a new approach. That may involve talking with a family member, seeking expert advice, reading an informative book, taking a class, looking for new sources of information or all of the above. All of these are coping resources for stress. Over time you will identify which are best for you. Once you have embraced the change, you can look back and reach a new level of appreciation by observing what you have learned. You are now ready for...

STEP 3: Moving On

Moving on is an opportunity to grow with introspection for the future. Ask yourself...how can I now serve others and what was the gift I received through this change. When you are able to see the gift, you have truly moved on to a place of healing and growth. Sadie Bolos O'Neill founder of The Bolos Academy is a speaker/author with 19 years experience as business/staff development consultant/coach. She can be reached at: 313.605.3850 or sadie@sadiebolos.com, visit her Website: www.sadiebolos.com.

Save the Date: Eliminate Stress at Home and in Your Life An Evening of Information & Inspiration featuring: Sadie Bolos, The Bolos Academy, Christina Pitts and Colleen Carnell, Pitts-Aldrich & Associates and Anna Russo, Success Strategies. Thursday, Oct. 8, 7 to 9 p.m. Barnes Early Childhood Center 20090 Morningside, Grosse Pointe Woods No Fee. Register by Oct. 1 @ 313.432.3832

To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.

The Family Center 20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

The Phoenix Challenge: Rising to Fulfillment

By Christina Pitts, President - PITTS-ALDRICH ASSOCIATES

Last Summer I was invited to write a chapter for Discover Your Inner Strength with notable contributors including Stephen Covey and Ken Blanchard. Immediately what came to mind was the image of a Phoenix rising, and I knew I would write about embracing challenge as opportunity for personal growth.

As many of us know, the Phoenix is a mythological bird that descends into a fire of its own making, and in the throes of death is reborn, transforming into a new and more powerful, more beautiful magnificence. In Chinese mythology, the Phoenix represents virtue, power, and prosperity; in some myths, the Firebird's tears heal all wounds.

The myth of the Phoenix teaches us that at times of challenge we must consciously and intentionally descend to the depths, enduring the chaos, confusion, pain, in order to ascend as someone stronger. The learning, while we're descending into our inner selves, yields enlightenment, so that when opportunity knocks, we're there to open the door to an enriched outcome.

I encourage us to embrace challenge as a constructive force enabling us to become stronger. If we choose to meet challenge head-on and determine to accept it with grace --to understand and learn from the process-- the yield will be bountiful: greater wisdom, new vigor to generate desirable outcomes, renewed sense of achievement and accomplishment, rediscovered pride in personal competence.

I invite you now to think about something challenging you. Ask yourself: "Am I willing to devote time, effort, energy to create a positive outcome?" If so, you're taking the first step toward embracing challenge. And you can learn more immediately by attending The Family Center's Ask the Experts event this evening, October 8, 7 to 9 p.m. at Barnes Elementary School.

Look for my next column on The Phoenix Challenge. Meanwhile, consider this from the Japanese poet, Masahide: "The barn has burned to the ground. Now I can see the moon."

Christina Pitts is a Consultant to businesses and nonprofits, as well as an Executive and Personal Coach & Mentor. Her background as an Educator, Business Executive, Lawyer and Volunteer; as a Motivational Trainer; as an Organ Donor; and as a Poet, Novelist and Speaker bring a colorful mosaic of experience to her engagements. Contact Christina @ 313.881.3433; christina@pittsaldrichassociates.com, or visit www.pittsaldrichassociates.com.

Save the Date:
Eliminate Stress at Home and in Your Life
An Evening of Information & Inspiration featuring: Sadie Bolos, The Bolos Academy, Christina Pitts and Colleen Carnell, Pitts-Aldrich & Associates and Anna Russo, Success Strategies.
Thursday, Oct. 8, 7 to 9 p.m.
Barnes Early Childhood Center
20090 Morningside, Grosse Pointe Woods
No Fee. Register by Oct. 1 @ 313.432.3832

Please email your questions to info@familycenterweb.org
To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.
20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

Are You Parenting Positively?

Ask The Experts by Anna Russo, NLP Trainer, Author, and Life Coach

Parenting can often seem so overwhelming; that we want to turn to experts for advice and just follow "good rules of parenting". Most parents want to have a deep connection with their children. Some succeed, some don't. What makes the difference? How would you like to find out?

Step into this scene: Family members showing love and cooperation to each other! All are listening, respecting, and responding to each other's requests! Everyone feeling content because they belong to our "special family". Sounds and feels wonderful, doesn't it?

What is stopping you from creating this family portrait? Perhaps you have been "trying" to solve kid problems as they occur by focusing on what you don't want and getting short-term relief instead of establishing an outcome.

Are you aware that every behavior is trying to fulfill a need? For example, ignoring homework leaves more time to play. Do you know what your child is trying to fulfill when he/she is misbehaving? Here are some tips to help you.

First interrupt, limit or stop the unwanted behavior - as quickly and as calmly as possible.
Find the positive intention of the unwanted behavior. Ask the question, "What is it that you are trying to do?" "What is it that you really want?"
Agree with or acknowledge the child's positive intention. "It's important to protect your things and-"
Help the child find other ways to achieve his positive intention. "How else could you accomplish that?" With young children, it can be useful to make suggestions for the child to consider. (For example, "After you clean your room, we don't have to discuss it anymore.")

Some parents believe that the children should know that they are loved. In those families the only time they address the kids is when they don't like their behavior. If we only address unwanted behavior, children gradually learn to think of themselves as "mean", "bad", or "unloved". Conflict starts between kids and parents. They feel criticized and unaccepted; the result is either withdrawal or rebellion. In contrast, using the four steps mentioned above enables you to help the child identify her positive intention and find another solution.

The long-term effects of parenting positively are:

The child thinks of themselves as having good intentions, in contrast to being "aggressive" or "bad". This adds to a positive self-esteem.
The child eventually will come to think of other children in the same way - even when they do things that he/she does not like, they realize that there is a good intention.
The child learns to automatically think of alternative solutions and use their creative resources whenever there is a problem to be solved.

Many of the methods are useful in changing difficulties after they have begun. It is also possible to utilize the same principles to help children get a good start in life. Try applying these ideas as a first step to parenting positively.

Anna Russo is a Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) Trainer, Author and Life Coach. Russo has been successfully conducting workshops for parents and teachers for 19 years. NLP is the study of how the brain translates words into actions. It teaches us to detect the strategies that people use. Some strategies work, some do not. When one recognizes the strategies that they and others use, only then, are they able to change what doesn't work to ensure the desired outcome. For more information, Russo can be reached at 248-528-0753 or annaru@comcast.net or visit her website www.successstrategiesnlp.com.

Save the Date:
Eliminate Stress at Home and in Your Life
An Evening of Information & Inspiration featuring: Sadie Bolos, The Bolos Academy, Christina Pitts and Colleen Carnell, Pitts-Aldrich & Associates and Anna Russo, Success Strategies.
Thursday, Oct. 8, 7 to 9 p.m.
Barnes Early Childhood Center
20090 Morningside, Grosse Pointe Woods
No Fee. Register by Oct. 1 @ 313.432.3832

To volunteer or contribute, visit www.familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.

The Family Center 20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236

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